How I wished I had more time. If I knew it was our last time together, I could have told him so many things. Like how much I loved him and how he made me so happy. I wish I didn't have to leave his bed and find a doctor. I should have insisted with the nurses that I stay near him while they figured things out. Not a day has passed that I didn't regret being right next to him when it happened. I am so sorry honey. Everyday I tell him what I could've said. I hope he can hear me. I'm really trying to continue this life without him, but it is torture. Sometimes I don't know how I can keep doing this. I'm pretty certain the Lord is helping me find strength. I wish it would just instantly be better. I am sorry honey. I will try to think less of missing you, and more of how happy you made us while you were with us.